what makes you think

that i care to see photos of your baby? first of all i dont know you and second i dont do babies. i can at least fake it for people i know, but you sir, a random bar patron: i sure as hell cant get it up for your newly spawned offspring. she me photos of your cat.. ok cool, your dog.. yah thats great.. even your ferret.. but i hate babies and i hate that people feel the need to create an image of them selves and bring them in this stupid world. whatever.. have your babies but i dont want to see them. ok?

but speaking of cats.. bk meow is mega smart! today she learned to hit the snooze on the alarm clock. fer serious. we were spooning this morning and the alarm went off and her little paw shot out from under the blaket and tapped the alarm that was in my bed. at first i thought i was coincidence but then she hit again then next snooze time! maybe thats why i slept through my alarm yesterday? i'm gonna have to watch that smart little bitch.

i'm also going to take this time (work is hella slow.. i might stab my eyeballs out just for something to do.. hence the mega rant) to say that i have some of the best homies ever. d.bear likes to text me smiths' lyrics in the wee hours of the morning. "this charming man". and mikey always seems to know when i'm having a shit day and texts his love from 303. and bril and camcam and lil.bro. even tom and chuchu. i have a kinds of other great homies but my bestie.bears make me not hate the very existance in we inhabit.

just washed my own hair in sink at work

cause it was filthy and didn't have time for anyone to wash it today. actually i was hoping to get started on this color bullshit cause my hair is going to take FOREVER to get to grey. and i already bathed once today so i'm sure as hell not going to do it again. i dont know why i hate bathing so much but fuck, i really do. sitting at work on the couch taking advantage of the internet connection the wounderfullness of no one being here. i dont have to listen to ass metal for one.

ah, talking heads. this must be the place. this song holds the best memories of this summer, when we used to video night every sunday. when s.douglas and sf and i would all hang out. when sf and i were the bestiest of besties. "i got plenty of time" summer seemed to stretch out forever in front us. it was just getting warm. i finally found my best kiddos. i was on top of the world. i would listen to this song on repeat if i could.... funny how songs can shape your memories. funny how people can shape who you are. especially your besties. you acquire desired traits. retire ones that irriate.

holy shit!

i haven't written on this little asshole in so long i coulnd't remember how to log in! ha. started writing in my polka.dot journal more cause i always have it with me. oh and i got addicted to flickr. sorry blogger. maybe i can somehow find a way to fuse you both together.

anywho, came to listen to the meow's gossip. nothing too interesting. hmm.

wierd day

on wednesday i stopped by magpie, just to see if there were any amazing finds that i just couldn't live without. i stumbled upon a yellow terry dress and michael jackson thriller t. i wasn't sure if i needed both but i just loved them both and the mj shirt was killer. all worn in and soft. grey. tasty. so yesterday morning threw on my new mj t, some skinny black pants, pair of vans and headed to the salon for work. bruce was wearing similar outfit commenting that at least his didn't have a child molester on it. in mj's defense, i argued that this was back before he molested children, when he was still being molested. later, i was bitching about no good burritos in portland and linc took me to gorditos. fuck yes. this place was the best burrito i've had in daysssss. as soon as my burrito came out of the window of the food cart i tore into, molten hot beans seared the roof of my mouth but it was so glorious i couldn't stop!! then bruce text.. "you are wearing a shirt with a dead child molester on it." what??? michael jackson died i exclaimed and looked down at my shrit. everyone at the cart looked up from delicious snacks in wonder.. "what??" "i'm googling that!" sure enough: dead. age 50. crazy. and i had just thrifted that t the day before. now i was in s swirl of emotions. good burrito. hot beans. mj dead. was it the shirt??

later i met sf - pookie up on alberta for last thursday and let me tell you there were some weirdos up there. crazy time. so many people. so odd. we had to get out of there it was too much. down to katies for some booze. were going to go to a party and sp and i were exchanging numbers and some how he already had it saved as "g". i definitely didn't have his. what? i just met him a few weeks back and i dont every remember exchanging numbers, nor does he... odd. did he get it from me years back in denver and we dont remember?? or was it sunday? but wouldn't he have put my name in on sunday? who knows. later he tried to smooch me and licked my face. gross. who does that. who taught these kids to smooch? jesus christ. i cant wait to see my little silv. mmm. 4 glorious days in san francisco with stellar dude. hell yes.

still hungover, damn jug o wine..

didn't even realize i drank that much until kev pulled it out of the fridge this morning and showed me i drank almost the whole thing. stellar t. felt like poo all day. had coffee w tk today. he looked well and it was nice to see him. finally feel over things and have fond feelings towards the memories of things. apparently hes trying to be healthy and might want to get the hell out of portland. understandable, especially when all your friends are into things you aren't anymore. sometimes its easier to pick and move away, even if you still love them all. its easier to be who you want to be with no one around to judge you, or judge the change in you when no one knows you. maybe sil wants to move here. i mean little sf is here and all kinds of homies and its less expensive.. maybe i'll daydream away about how he hearts me and wants to move here... mmmm. sent him a text today about how he makes me nervous and giggly like a 12 year old girl. blew my cool!!! oh well i guess. at least i didn't talk to him last night when i was wasted. not that we haven't drank together (hello! the monog. w sf??) but apparently i talked to d and i was a big re. then i came home and threw up and passed out on the toilet and kev had to wake me up when he got back to the apt. i'm so fucking classy i cant even stand it.
been drinking too much this week. need to mellow out a bit. hard with the entire world coming to visit. which i love dont get me wrong but i want to party when the kids are in town. especially wet ones. part of why i left denver.. as mentioned before. i think i need to go to sleep. my head hurts. supposed photo shoot tomorrow. bit nervous. good though.

just noticing the abundance of male friends i play with. i love my female friends but i want to run around like a 12 year old and males are often best for that. and they are low drama. and i heart their lifestyles..most anyway. the traveling ones i've been kickin with as of late especially. like i always say, so many male friends, never any boyfriends. maybe one day....

going to daydream...

obsessing for a minute

first off, a girl i worked w for a hot minute called this morning asking me to go out for her birthday tonight, something i found odd considering we barely new each other, not even enough to exchange phone numbers.. which makes things even odder: she got my phone number from tk. bizarre. the first time i kicked w tk at my work she mean mugged him the whole night. i know what man mentioned knowing her... maybe they were all kickin it or he recognized her from there and asked for my number? who knows. the thing is i would totally go but boys are in town skating up at hood and invited me up there.. but never told me how to get there and i feel wierd going cause its all doods skating and i feel like i'll look like a pro ho, but i would love to go run around in the woods like a 7 year old. but i should network in pdx and meet more people and get to know them and what not so i guess ill head to dantes around 9. at least then i can figure out why the hell they were talking about me and maybe see tk. haven't spoken to him since... oh man a month? maybe? dont know.. days ago for sure. almost feel ready to see him again. its not as annoying when i smell his smell on the entire world anymore. actually i almost called him the other day to see how he was but i didn't. kinda glad now cause he obviously HAD to at least think about me without me instigating it. and someone spoke highly enough of me to get a number so.. yah.

most importantly::: booked my flight to sf so i can go visit the beautiful silver!! and see sf!! wooo! july 12th baby! cant wait. my brain runs fucking rampant any more. jesus i need to slow it down or something.. i want to run and play and chat and do everything all the time. i dont know how people snort drugs cause i can barely sit still as it is! jesus! well gonna fix myself and ride my bike down to the barmuda triangle and kick.

delicious boys...mmmmm

so i was going to blog today cause its been quite a minute but not even sure where to start! killing time before the bar, went to the salon in the rain today and no one was there! so came home till 4, but then just decided to do laundry instead, been an interesting day! i was kinda bummed cause i could have gone up to hood to see mho while hes in town but its ok. probly would have gotten in trouble and i wouldn't have chatted it up with pretty silver who called and invited me to stay with him in july! mmm.. that delicious man. maybe a little crazy but who cares! i rather enjoy an eclectic artist and you have to be a little nutty to fall into that category yes? and hes so pretty and nice. i wouldnt even know he might be a tad nuts if i hadn't Internet stalked him like i do... mmmm.... its already been a week since i've seen him but i still cant shake him. i want to see him right now. hope i still feel the same by the time i go there! even if i dont its a free place to stay and hes gorgeous so i cant imagine not! i know he'll show me a good time and its not like i would have a serious bf in the span of 6 weeks. less than 6 weeks! is 4 days enough? probly cause we've only kicked a little. that should be the perfect time span. long enough to hang out, short enough to get away. and just enough time to party in sf in all its glory. cant wait!

waiting for kev to call me, he should be rolling into town real soon here. he and t are (hopefully not too many more) are staying here i think tonight then heading to hood tomorrow. i'll probly head up tomorrow eve after work since i dont have to be at the bar till 730 on friday. haven't been up there yet so it should be fun with all the hot boys on skateboards. i'm such a crazy old lady already.. ha.