holy shit!

i haven't written on this little asshole in so long i coulnd't remember how to log in! ha. started writing in my polka.dot journal more cause i always have it with me. oh and i got addicted to flickr. sorry blogger. maybe i can somehow find a way to fuse you both together.

anywho, came to listen to the meow's gossip. nothing too interesting. hmm.

wierd day

on wednesday i stopped by magpie, just to see if there were any amazing finds that i just couldn't live without. i stumbled upon a yellow terry dress and michael jackson thriller t. i wasn't sure if i needed both but i just loved them both and the mj shirt was killer. all worn in and soft. grey. tasty. so yesterday morning threw on my new mj t, some skinny black pants, pair of vans and headed to the salon for work. bruce was wearing similar outfit commenting that at least his didn't have a child molester on it. in mj's defense, i argued that this was back before he molested children, when he was still being molested. later, i was bitching about no good burritos in portland and linc took me to gorditos. fuck yes. this place was the best burrito i've had in daysssss. as soon as my burrito came out of the window of the food cart i tore into, molten hot beans seared the roof of my mouth but it was so glorious i couldn't stop!! then bruce text.. "you are wearing a shirt with a dead child molester on it." what??? michael jackson died i exclaimed and looked down at my shrit. everyone at the cart looked up from delicious snacks in wonder.. "what??" "i'm googling that!" sure enough: dead. age 50. crazy. and i had just thrifted that t the day before. now i was in s swirl of emotions. good burrito. hot beans. mj dead. was it the shirt??

later i met sf - pookie up on alberta for last thursday and let me tell you there were some weirdos up there. crazy time. so many people. so odd. we had to get out of there it was too much. down to katies for some booze. were going to go to a party and sp and i were exchanging numbers and some how he already had it saved as "g". i definitely didn't have his. what? i just met him a few weeks back and i dont every remember exchanging numbers, nor does he... odd. did he get it from me years back in denver and we dont remember?? or was it sunday? but wouldn't he have put my name in on sunday? who knows. later he tried to smooch me and licked my face. gross. who does that. who taught these kids to smooch? jesus christ. i cant wait to see my little silv. mmm. 4 glorious days in san francisco with stellar dude. hell yes.

still hungover, damn jug o wine..

didn't even realize i drank that much until kev pulled it out of the fridge this morning and showed me i drank almost the whole thing. stellar t. felt like poo all day. had coffee w tk today. he looked well and it was nice to see him. finally feel over things and have fond feelings towards the memories of things. apparently hes trying to be healthy and might want to get the hell out of portland. understandable, especially when all your friends are into things you aren't anymore. sometimes its easier to pick and move away, even if you still love them all. its easier to be who you want to be with no one around to judge you, or judge the change in you when no one knows you. maybe sil wants to move here. i mean little sf is here and all kinds of homies and its less expensive.. maybe i'll daydream away about how he hearts me and wants to move here... mmmm. sent him a text today about how he makes me nervous and giggly like a 12 year old girl. blew my cool!!! oh well i guess. at least i didn't talk to him last night when i was wasted. not that we haven't drank together (hello! the monog. w sf??) but apparently i talked to d and i was a big re. then i came home and threw up and passed out on the toilet and kev had to wake me up when he got back to the apt. i'm so fucking classy i cant even stand it.
been drinking too much this week. need to mellow out a bit. hard with the entire world coming to visit. which i love dont get me wrong but i want to party when the kids are in town. especially wet ones. part of why i left denver.. as mentioned before. i think i need to go to sleep. my head hurts. supposed photo shoot tomorrow. bit nervous. good though.

just noticing the abundance of male friends i play with. i love my female friends but i want to run around like a 12 year old and males are often best for that. and they are low drama. and i heart their lifestyles..most anyway. the traveling ones i've been kickin with as of late especially. like i always say, so many male friends, never any boyfriends. maybe one day....

going to daydream...

obsessing for a minute

first off, a girl i worked w for a hot minute called this morning asking me to go out for her birthday tonight, something i found odd considering we barely new each other, not even enough to exchange phone numbers.. which makes things even odder: she got my phone number from tk. bizarre. the first time i kicked w tk at my work she mean mugged him the whole night. i know what man mentioned knowing her... maybe they were all kickin it or he recognized her from there and asked for my number? who knows. the thing is i would totally go but boys are in town skating up at hood and invited me up there.. but never told me how to get there and i feel wierd going cause its all doods skating and i feel like i'll look like a pro ho, but i would love to go run around in the woods like a 7 year old. but i should network in pdx and meet more people and get to know them and what not so i guess ill head to dantes around 9. at least then i can figure out why the hell they were talking about me and maybe see tk. haven't spoken to him since... oh man a month? maybe? dont know.. days ago for sure. almost feel ready to see him again. its not as annoying when i smell his smell on the entire world anymore. actually i almost called him the other day to see how he was but i didn't. kinda glad now cause he obviously HAD to at least think about me without me instigating it. and someone spoke highly enough of me to get a number so.. yah.

most importantly::: booked my flight to sf so i can go visit the beautiful silver!! and see sf!! wooo! july 12th baby! cant wait. my brain runs fucking rampant any more. jesus i need to slow it down or something.. i want to run and play and chat and do everything all the time. i dont know how people snort drugs cause i can barely sit still as it is! jesus! well gonna fix myself and ride my bike down to the barmuda triangle and kick.

delicious boys...mmmmm

so i was going to blog today cause its been quite a minute but not even sure where to start! killing time before the bar, went to the salon in the rain today and no one was there! so came home till 4, but then just decided to do laundry instead, been an interesting day! i was kinda bummed cause i could have gone up to hood to see mho while hes in town but its ok. probly would have gotten in trouble and i wouldn't have chatted it up with pretty silver who called and invited me to stay with him in july! mmm.. that delicious man. maybe a little crazy but who cares! i rather enjoy an eclectic artist and you have to be a little nutty to fall into that category yes? and hes so pretty and nice. i wouldnt even know he might be a tad nuts if i hadn't Internet stalked him like i do... mmmm.... its already been a week since i've seen him but i still cant shake him. i want to see him right now. hope i still feel the same by the time i go there! even if i dont its a free place to stay and hes gorgeous so i cant imagine not! i know he'll show me a good time and its not like i would have a serious bf in the span of 6 weeks. less than 6 weeks! is 4 days enough? probly cause we've only kicked a little. that should be the perfect time span. long enough to hang out, short enough to get away. and just enough time to party in sf in all its glory. cant wait!

waiting for kev to call me, he should be rolling into town real soon here. he and t are (hopefully not too many more) are staying here i think tonight then heading to hood tomorrow. i'll probly head up tomorrow eve after work since i dont have to be at the bar till 730 on friday. haven't been up there yet so it should be fun with all the hot boys on skateboards. i'm such a crazy old lady already.. ha.

graduation letter

the first of my nieces/nephews is graduation high school and i feel that i want to do something for her besides throw money at her (not that i wont do that because come on, who doesn't want/expect cash flow for graduation? especially cause i'm the lame poor aunt who lives far away and lives the good life.. or odd life whatever). so i decided to write her a letter but who the hell knows what its going to say. heres a beginning attempt:


so high school came and went. i hope it was awesome. or as awesome as high school can be. but heres to the rest of your life! from here on out there are going to be a million possibilities.. and just as many disappointments. you are an amazing human with so many talents, and so pretty look at too. so many things have gone your way thus far. you are so incredibly lucky! you may not be aware of it yet, but one day you will realize the amazing gifts you have been given.

as you grow up, which you will do a shit ton of the next few years! oh man! anywho, do not, and i repeat DO NOT ever grow up. learn. learn as much as you can. about ANYTHING. ask questions, especially to people you do know and about things you know nothing about. even if you think you sound stupid. thats when its most important. but learn, learn, learn, and grow, grow, grow, but dont grow up. remember that chubby little child inside so excited to lick the beaters! remember how fun it was to run around the playground screaming with out a care in the world! remember laughing and laughing and laughing at the stupidest thing ever in the whole wide world (never ever quit doing that ever by the way)!

remember when you were a kidlet... what did you want to be when you grow up? there may have been a few different things, but those were what you were most passionate about because back then you weren't aware of limitations. remember those early dreams and make sure they come true one day. always follow your dreams even if they feel "stupid" or "unattainable" or "not sensible". as long as you are being as true to yourself as you possibly can, you can never go wrong. in any situation. if something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't, but thats not to say dont try it. sometimes we need to push the limits of our comfort zones in order to expand our knowledge and experience. most times actually. but trust your gut. if you get into a position /situation that doesn't feel right, calmly get yourself out.

i want you to do something for me: the next few years i want to you to meet as many people as possible and get to as much shit (adventures!!!) as possible. i only wish i had gotten into more. and sometimes its ok to do what youre "not supposed to". i worked very hard through school and had a great time but i got a lot more out of life once i didn't take it so seriously. which leads me back to my original point.. DONT EVER GROW UP. not for real.

grow. live. be.

i'm so incredibly honored to have you as my niece and couldn't have asked for a better one! please, please, please call me whenever you have a question about anything at all or if you ever are in need. there isn't a lot i haven't seen either personally or through my good homies these days so please dont hesitate to call for any reason at all. even if you are bored, or had one too many cocktails or its 3 am (im probably up, i keep weird hours) i dont care. i know i'm not the most conventional of aunts but i'm hoping that means we can have most unconventional relationship (those are always the best) as we continue down this yellow brick road together.

xoxo
auntie tine
ps you can follow my stupid blog at www.blogspot.com/auntietine and my lovely flickr at www.flickr.com/photos/auntietine

when it rains

the rain in this city is crazy. though it threatens rail most days, it doesn't always happen, and when it does, its mostly a chilly drizzle. rarely do you hear the rain pounding upon the windows. even then, its simply rain, unaccompanied by thunder (unless, perhaps, you are very lucky). the rain was heavy today. i car hear it just outside my tiny apartment... odd how it rains in this city.

enjoying an eve alone with some delicious wine and a spliff.. as i spend most evenings alone. was kind of in the mood to get into something but it seems as if nothing exciting is goings down so i will enjoy my solitude, as i so often do. not lonely or heavy today. its nice.

my neighbor to the east just coughed. i heard him through the tiny space which echos between my building and the one next to it. i saw him for the first time since i've lived here last week. since then there have been a variety of odd objects appearing in the hallway outside his apartment.. a jesus candle, large photographs in frames and tennis balls. lots and lots of tennis balls (its pouring now...). and for the first time i've noticed a light coming from that apartment reflecting on the wall outside and his window open. i even heard him talking the other day. so so odd. i wasn't even sure someone lived there except for the odd ups packages sitting outside the door for days at a time.