Monday, February 2, 2009

matador post

at the matador drinking pbr (which everyone refers to as pabts here in portland... wierd) waiting for graham so we can ride bikes like the 12 year old kids we are.

so they cut my sweet 4 shifts at the kob to 3 shifts so now i HAVE to get my salon job or i cant pay rent. sweet. not that i dont need to get on that anyway but i didn't want it to be so stressful. i'm kinda bummin on that whole sitch anywho cause that interview at urbacca was super stellar and then they never called. when i stooped by today they guy behind the counter looked at me like a crazy. i'm trying to remember that whatever happens will be for the best and not to rush it or freak out but its hard. i mean, how do you convince someone to hire you. i mean i'm a killer assistant and would a killer job... do i just say that. i mean i talked up my bar tending skills which SUCK and managed to get that job. of course not right away. i was third choice but i'm killing it anyway so oh well. i'm trying to remind myself that maybe i wont be first choice for a salon spot but once i'm there if i work hard they will be stoked on me. but i keep questioning my worth for some reason. i dunno maybe i was just in a bad spot this morning when i couldn't shake those thoughts.

ha so i opened a tab cause the beer was 15o and i hate tipping 50 but i didn't want to tip 15o on a 150 beer... but now i dont really want another beer. of course if i go home i'm just going to stare at things while graham takes his sweet time eating soup so i might as well stay here and ramble on about bull shit eh? apparently i'm canadian now.. i tried to talk bri into coming to have a beer with me but i wont hold my breath. she probably thinks i have a drinking problem cause i drink by myself. but i had a long day! and i needed interweb. oooh pixies. beside the fact that i already had a beer in the shower...

its funny graham commented on how different bri and i are and that we are such good friends and its so true. like the other eve while bri scoot and i sat here and i had a beer and they watched and then they went home at 930 even though they were off the next day and i had to work at 730. and she text me and told me she didn't have any money till next weekend. i just cant fathom my life like that... living so far from the city, never meeting up with friends. day in day out, boring job, watch tv, bed at 9 get up at 630 back to job i hate. fuck that. i dont EVER in a million years want that. it depresses me just thinking about that. i know she probably looks down on the shit bag life style i live but i do my best to be a good person and i love my life so oh well. and i love her so f it. i have to go get my other beer and close my tab. heh.

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